Enough
by BrianaEllington
Summary: Elliot says something that pisses Olivia off. She won't talk to him. Has Olivia finally had enough? Story better than summary, I promise!
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story, I do not own Law & Order: SVU.**_

Chapter One

Olivia Benson stormed out of the bar, wincing at the cold, December air. She left her jacket inside, and was too pissed to even grab it. The light snow fell against her hair as she ran as fast as she could down the streets, not knowing where she's going, not really caring. Her boots slammed against the sidewalk, pressing into the bottom of her foot.

Her asshole of a partner decided he would bring down her mood and ruin a perfectly good night with his cocky remarks.

_Stupid son of a bitch._

She slipped into another bar a few blocks away from the one she left. She took a seat at the bar, smiling at the bartender. He slid a beer in her direction and leaned in closer. "This one's on the house." He winked.

He was not an attractive man, but after a few more beers, he would be. "Thanks,"

She took a swig, _This one's for you, Elliot. _

She took another, _This one's for the men I apparently never get._

And another, _And of course, one for my smug partner._

_Oh, shit. I already did one for him._

Before she knew it, she had downed four beers and a shot of whiskey. She stumbled off the bar stool and made her way to the bathroom. After falling into the toilet, she stood in front of the mirror. "It's no wonder Elliot thinks he can tell you whatever the fuck he wants. Look at you, you're a wreck."

She splashed cold water on her face, and left the bar. She got to her apartment, and scoffed at her partner, who was sitting on the steps of her building. "Fuck you," she slurred.

"Olivia-" He began.

"Fuck you!" She tried to pass him, but he stuck his arms out, blocking her from leaving. "Let me go,"

He put his face inches away from hers. She shuddered at his breath on her, "Not until you talk to me."

She didn't want to talk to him ever again. She didn't want to see him, hear his name, think about him. She wanted him to completely disappear from her life. "I don't want to."

He grabbed her wrist, "You're a mess, Olivia. You're drunk off your ass."

"Fuck you, I'm capable of taking care of myself, now _move!"_ She pushed passed him, only getting up two steps, before he grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

_Fuck his reflexes. Fuck his insanely hot strength. Fuck him. Psh, in your dreams, Benson._

"Let me go," She demanded. "Before I call the police."

"I am the police, Olivia, in case you forgot." He smirked.

She stared at him, losing herself in his eyes. Completely forgetting everything she was about to say to him. She didn't hate him, as a matter of fact, she loved him. _No! Snap out of it, Olivia. You don't love him, you hate him._

"Leave me the fuck alone, Elliot. I mean it." She spat. She wanted to punch him. Shove him down the stairs. Her mind wandered to the bar, replaying every single moment of it.

_**Olivia sat across from Elliot, in a booth in the back of the bar. The dimly lit building had people in every inch of it. The jukebox played a song that Olivia couldn't help but lip sync along to.**_

_**See the stone set in your eyes**_

_**See the thorn twist in your side**_

_**I wait for you**_

_**Elliot smiled at the silent singing of his partner, "You a big U2 fan?"**_

_**Olivia shrugged, "I wouldn't say big, but yeah, a fan." **_

_**"I used to roll around in my 1975 Corvette with hot girls and blast this song. I'd sing it, very off-key to whichever girl I drove around that day." Elliot smirked.**_

_**"1975 Corvette, huh?" Olivia smirked. "How many girls did you 'drive around'?"**_

_**"Oh, at least 6 a week." Elliot smiled. **_

_**"At least?" Olivia cocked her eyebrow.**_

_**"Give or take." He shrugged, smiling.**_

_**Olivia caught the attention of a guy in the corner of the bar. He smiled at her as he approached the table. "Hi,"**_

_**She grinned, "Hello."**_

_**"I'm Jason," He stuck out his hand. "And you are?"**_

_**"Olivia," She shook his hand. Her hand tingled from the sensation of his larger hand gripping her smaller one.**_

_**"I hope you don't mind me saying, but you are very beautiful." Jason smiled. His green eyes locked with her brown eyes.**_

_**Olivia giggled. "Thank you," **_

_**"Are you two," he motioned between Olivia and Elliot. "together?"**_

_**Olivia shook her head, "Nope. Just friends."**_

_**Just friends. Those words pierced his heart. "Hey, get lost pal." Elliot interjected.**_

_**"El!" Olivia shouted.**_

_**"I think that's for Olivia to decide." Jason replied.**_

_**Elliot stood up from his seat and grabbed Jason by the collar of his shirt. "Get the fuck out of here, before I pound your face in."**_

_**Jason smoothed out his shirt and glared at Elliot. "Sorry, Olivia."**_

_**Olivia stood up and followed Jason, "Hey, you don't have to leave."**_

_**Jason turned around, "Your friend doesn't think I should stay."**_

_**"Why the fuck do you care what Elliot thinks? He's nobody." Olivia said, loud enough for Elliot to hear.**_

_**Elliot grabbed Olivia's arm and led her back to the booth. He threw her down on the seat, and sat beside her, locking her between the wall and his body. "What the fuck is your problem?"**_

_**"What's my problem? What's your problem? Parading your happy little ass around this bar like some kind of whore. For Christ's sake Olivia, you're old enough to be that kid's mother!" Elliot shouted.**_

_**Olivia scoffed. First, he cock blocks, then he calls her old? Fuck that. "Just because your fucking love life has gone down the fucking toilet, doesn't mean you can destroy everyone else's!"**_

_**Kathy and him had been having problems. They haven't even brought up the word divorce, but everyone saw it coming. "My love life? Please, Olivia, you never fucking have anyone! You never have, and you never fucking will." He didn't mean to say that. Fuck. He sighed, "Olivia, I'm so sorr-"**_

_**She put her hand up. "Save it Elliot. Let me the fuck out, I wanna leave."**_

_**"Olivia,"**_

_**"Let me out!" She shouted. **_

_**Her voice pierced his ears, causing them to ring. "Liv,"**_

_**"Don't," Olivia stuck her finger in the air. "call me that."**_

_**She slid under the booth, exiting from underneath the table since her dick of a partner wouldn't let her out. She walked outside, ignoring her partner yelling her name.**_

"Can you please let me explain?" Elliot asked.

Olivia's eyes filled with tears. She kept her head down, not willing to let Elliot know he made her cry. "No,"

"Olivia," he sighed. "I am so, so, so, _so_ sorry. You have to believe me."

"I don't want to, now, please let me upstairs." Olivia said.

"Olivia, I didn't mean to upset you, please, let me explain myself. I just," he paused. "I got so mad. Not at you, at myself. Everything you said was true. Kathy and I do have a fucked up relationship, you're right."

Olivia remained silent, staring at her shoes while he spoke. She didn't really care what he had to say, there was no way in hell she was going to forgive him.

"I was wrong, saying what I said. I'm sorry." He said.

Olivia picked her head up, then put it back down. She hesitated, then looked at him. "Sorry isn't good enough."

She managed to make her way completely passed him and locked herself in her apartment. She pulled her comforter over her head and bawled her eyes out. He was right; she didn't have anyone. Her mother's dead, her rapist father is dead, she rarely ever talked to her brother, the baby Gladys Dalton left her died, Vivian Arliss took Calvin, and now, she hated her partner; the only person she had left.

**_This chapter was a bit short, I'm aware, but I wasn't really sure where to go with it. Let me know if I should continue; be gentle with the reviews, this is my first story. _**

**_xo,_**

**_Brie. _**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's note: Oh my goodness gracious, you guys, I'm freaking out. I've gotten so much amazing feedback, and I'm feeling incredible. Y'all are the sweetest; I love you guys! Sorry I made you wait so long. Here's chapter two!**_

_**Special thanks to my amazing reviewers: StevieLUVSAlex, VBallbabe44, Cam, Nina, Elliotandoliviababies, Yankeepeg, Mamma corleone, MeYou744, Det. Olivia Benson Stabler, lawandorderSVUismylife, Paisley Mae, Ashley. And even you, Lori! You make me want to continue - thanks! (:**_

_**Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Law & Order: SVU, or any of the characters in this chapter. **_

_**Happy April Fool's day!**_

_***Note, I'm having MAJOR writer's block, so if this chapter sucks, I apologize in advance. Suggestions for chapter three are more than welcome!**_

Chapter Two

Olivia's head was pounding when she woke up, but that didn't stop her from getting up and dressed for work. She remembered the events of the previous night and wanted to vomit. She still couldn't believe Elliot acted like such a douche bag. After performing her morning routine, she made her way out the door, stopping at the sight of her partner sitting beside her door.

"Hey," he said, standing up.

Olivia was pissed, but felt bad. He slept on the floor in her apartment building hallway, just so he could talk to her. She had to talk to him to give herself a clean conscience. "Hi."

Elliot smirked, "I knew you'd talk to me."

Olivia groaned, "You're lucky you slept on the floor, otherwise, I'd still be ignoring you."

"So, you're only talking to me because you feel bad?" Elliot asked. "Not because you forgive me?"

Olivia stopped dead in her tracks, "Did you honestly expect me to?"

Elliot mentally slapped himself. He knew she wouldn't - that was Olivia. Stubborn. He hoped she would, though. "I've got to go home and get ready for work. Just wanted to make sure you're okay." Elliot rubbed his forehead with his fingertips. "I'll see you."

Olivia nodded and continued on her way to the precinct. After making it to work, she slumped her body down at her desk. Her chair squeaked when she sat down. _Of all the things we replaced in this office, the city is still too cheap to pay for new fucking chairs._

Elliot walked in, and Olivia quickly busied herself with whatever was in front of her. Truth is, she wasn't doing a damn thing, and she didn't even _know_ what was in front of her, but she figured she'd make it seem like she _wasn't _obsessing over their night.

He sat down at his desk and neatly set his jacket against his chair, and neatly set his phone beside him, and neatly aligned his files across his desk. Olivia wanted to run her hand across his desk and mess everything up. Neat people annoyed her. Then again, Elliot wasn't neat, he was probably doing it on purpose, because he knew it'd piss her off.

The case they caught was disturbing, a six-year-old little boy, raped and brutally murdered. Sixteen visible stab wounds and a slit throat. Even though Olivia had been working with cases like these for as long as she could remember, she still got sick to her stomach when she saw a dead body. The detectives were ordered to meet Medical Examiner, Melinda Warner, at the morgue.

"Hey," Olivia said as she walked through the door. "Find anything else?"

"A lot." Melinda replied. She walked over to the table where the deceased little boy had been laying and lifted the sheet. Her face churned at the sight of him, but she had to continue her job. "I found more stab wounds, a total of twenty-three."

Olivia's face wrinkled up, and she got a sick feeling in her stomach. She usually knew how to control her body, but she knew the alcohol played a big part in her nausea. Melinda continued, "There's DNA under his nails, he apparently got a piece of his attacker. I found these," Melinda walked to her counter and grabbed a bag off of it. "inside of him."

Elliot raised his eyebrow, "What are they?"

Melinda sighed, "Wood chips. I'm assuming whoever did this to him penetrated him with a stick, or a branch, maybe even a homeade baseball bat."

Olivia shuddered, "Thanks Mel."

"I'll let you know if I find anything else." Melinda called after the detectives, who were walking out of the door.

There wasn't any breaks in the case. No missing persons report on the boy, no hits on the flyer they put out, not a single word that this boy even existed. The DNA under his nails hadn't come back yet, and there was no sign of his parents. It was nearly four in the morning, when Cragen finally came out of his office, "What are you still doing here? Get your asses home, all of you."

_Don't have to tell me twice. _Olivia pulled her purse out of the bottom drawer of her desk and headed out of the precinct. Elliot jogged and caught up to her. "Can I give you a ride home?"

"Uh," Olivia paused. "Nah, I'm okay."

"Liv, it's late. Can you stop being so hard-headed for five minutes, so I can assure you're home _safely_?"

Olivia scoffed and shook her head, "There you go again, calling me names. Do me a favor Stabler, leave me alone."

Elliot could feel his tempor rising. "I didn't mean it like that and you know it."

"Whatever, Elliot, I honestly don't want to hear it." Olivia pushed her hair behind her ear and gripped her purse tighter.

"You know, I don't even know why I try to help you. Walk yourself home, I don't even fucking care. Don't come crying to me if something happens to you." Elliot snapped.

Olivia stopped walking, leaving Elliot to walk alone. She bit the inside of her cheek and rolled her eyes. _No fucking way am I letting him ruin another night of mine. Ignore him, Benson, you're above that. _

The walk home wasn't too bad. It was freezing out, and Olivia couldn't feel her fingers within five minutes, but other than that, it was relaxing. Therapeutic, even. She got a chance to clear her mind and cool down. She made it to her apartment, and locked the door behind her. Elliot was always so paranoid. Olivia was perfectly capable of making it to home without him. She's a big girl.

For all she cared, Elliot could go fuck himself. She was tired of his bull shit. She thought about asking for a new partner, but she knew there was no way in hell she could do this job without him - no matter how much she hated him, she'd _always _need him in some way or another.

_**Woohoo, I got through it. It's kind of just... a filler, I guess you'd call it. My mind is completely numb, I have no idea what I just wrote in this chapter. Like I said, you guys can totally help me with chapter three, because I have no idea where to go from here. I'm about to have a BF (bitch fit? White Chicks? C'mon!). **_

_**Personal question: Have any of you guys been watching American Idol? Who's your favorite? My favorite girls are Lauren Alaina and Haley Reinhart, and my favorite guy is Scotty McCreery. I'm a sucker for a dude with a crazy good country voice. Did y'all see Haley sing 'Bennie and The Jets'? I love that song, and I thought she did amazing! Anyway, I'm done. **_

_**Review, review, review! I read all reviews, even the hurtful ones. :(**_

_**Xoxoxoxox,**_

_**Brie.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's note: Hey, how are y'all doing? Hopefully good, and if not, I'm so sorry. Maybe chapter three will cheer you up! **_

_**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Law & Order: SVU, or any of the characters you recognize. Maybe Dick Wolf would consider giving it to me for my birthday (Which is in eight days!).**_

_**Btw: **__Elliot's text messages __**Elliot's thoughts.**_

_**Olivia's text messages. **__Olivia's thoughts._

_**This takes place a few days later than chapter two; sorry for skipping ahead time on y'all, but I'm ready to get this show on the road!**_

Chapter three

Olivia sat on her couch, flipping through the channels on her T.V. and eating gummy worms. Her phone buzzed, so she leaned forward and grabbed it off the coffee table.

_I'm sorry, you know that, right?_

_**Sorry as in a complete ass? Yeah, everybody knows that.**_

_Liv, you know I wouldn't hurt you intentionally._

_**I know.**_

_Besides, you said some things too that night. It's a two-way street here._

_**I know.**_

_What's it going to take to prove to you how sorry I am?_

_**Your kidney...**_

_Lol take it. I have two._

_**Your heart...**_

She meant that one; she wanted his heart more than anything in the world.

_Lol I need that one._

_**Well, then you're shit outta luck, huh?**_

_Liv, I'm serious. I am so incredibly sorry._

_**I know you are.**_

_Then, do you forgive me?_

_**Only if you come over right now and bring me sesame chicken from Wanfu.**_

_You've got yourself a deal, Benson._

_**See you soon, Stabler.**_

She set her phone down beside her, satisfied with her conversation with her best friend. She really was ready to forgive him. She missed him; his voice, his smile, his insanely beautiful eyes. Everything about him was perfect to her. About an hour later, her door buzzed.

"Halt!" She yelled into the intercom. "Who goes there?"

"Your knight in shining armor, and your food." Elliot said, smiling, even though she couldn't see him.

She laughed and buzzed him in. He came inside and set the food on the counter. "Thank god," she said, taking her box of food out of the bag. "I'm starving."

After eating, they sat on the couch and watched movies before both falling asleep. Olivia woke up the next morning in the arms of her partner. _I swear to god, I fell asleep sitting up._

She smiled and enjoyed a few more seconds in his arms, then got up to get ready for work. After showering, she came out of the bathroom in a towel, with her toothbrush in her mouth and picked up a couch pillow. She tossed it at Elliot's face, causing him to jump. "What?" he said, the pillow still over his face.

"Get up, you have to get ready for work." she said.

Elliot threw the pillow off of his face and blinked his eyes, adjusting them to the light. He saw Olivia, her body glistening from the water on her tan body, and the towel wrapped around her barely covered anything. He licked his lips, hoping she didn't notice and sat up.

Olivia laughed and headed back to her bedroom. It was very hard not to notice his arousal, and even more, harder not to laugh. Even though, she loved Elliot with all of her heart, he was still her best friend, and she was still going to tease him. She came out, fully dressed about fifteen minutes later. She didn't expect him to still be sitting on her couch. "Did you like what you saw earlier?" she joked.

Elliot smirked. "Maybe."

She laughed nervously. She didn't expect him to be so straight forward with his answer. "Why are you still here?"

"What?" He asked, smiling. "Are you kicking me out?"

"No, I just figured you'd want to get home to... I dunno, wash your ass." she joked.

Elliot laughed. "I doubt Kathy's gonna let me inside."

Olivia furrowed her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"I told her I was coming over here, she was a little heated when I left, and I didn't come home. She has a big imagination, Liv." Elliot explained.

"Maybe it's not her imagination." Olivia blurted. _Shit! Why did you say that? Take it back, take it back, take it back!_

Elliot looked up at her and cocked his eyebrow. "Maybe."

Olivia cleared her throat. "Well, I'm gonna get going. Shower here if you want, everything's in the bathroom. You still have your key right?" Elliot nodded. "Alright, lock the door when you leave."

Olivia grabbed her purse, smiling as she did so, remembering the conversation they had about her purse twelve years ago.

_"No jewelry? I at least carry a pair of earrings in my purse." Olivia said, digging through the victim's bag._

"Yeah," Elliot said, walking toward her. "like you carry a purse."

Olivia smirked. "That's 'cause you carry it for me."

She walked out of her apartment and headed to the precinct. She enjoyed the walk, enjoyed the fact that it gave her a good twenty minutes to clear her head. She thought a lot; especially of Elliot. The accusations, the assumptions, all of this ran through her mind as she walked. She couldn't believe all of those times Kathy showed up at the precinct when they worked late, ranting on about an affair, and sleeping with your partner, and being his naughty little cop. She couldn't believe all those times people asked if she was sleeping with her partner. She couldn't believe the bet going on between the entire precinct. She didn't understand it; couldn't believe people actually saw the two like that... Could she?

_**Alrighty, guys. There's chapter three. I added a little E/O action in there for all of my fellow E/O shippers! I hope y'all enjoyed the little bit from season one, episode seventeen, "Misleader". I saw it on TV the other day and I laughed my butt of, seriously. It's probably my favorite quote! (:**_

_**Personal question: Who's going to watch American Idol? Everyone should vote for Lauren Alaina! LOL. She's my fave.**_

_**Who's gonna watch SVU tonight? Diane Neal (Casey Novak) is returning! I'm stoked. Casey has always been my favorite ADA. I'm excited to see her grace SVU-ness again. Let's go, Case! (:**_

_**Okay, well, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. There's a little button with the word, "Review" written on it. Do you see it? Yeah, you should totally click it and jot down a few words about this chapter. About the story. About turkey legs for all I care. Mmmm, speaking of turkey legs, that sounds really good right about now. Review and I'll love you forever and ever and ever. AND EVER.**_

_**xoxoxoxoxoXO,**_

_**Brie.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's note: Happy Friday! Everybody should go listen to 'Friday' by Rebecca Black. That's my jaaaaaam! Did y'all hear about Mariska's new baby girl? She's adorable! Amaya Josephine. I'm super happy for Mariska, Peter and August. They deserve all the happiness!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Law & Order: SVU or any of the characters you recognize.**_

_**StevieLUVSAlex - Turkey is soooo much better than chicken to me. LOL. You NEED to eat a turkey leg one day. Your life just won't be complete without one.**_

Chapter four

Elliot sat at his desk, staring at the beautiful woman before him. Her dark chocolate hair fell over her face as she bent her head down to write. He couldn't help but love her. The chemistry between them was undeniable, and very much obvious to everyone around them, except of course each other. Elliot was sure she didn't love him the way he loved her. How could she love someone who treated her as badly as he does?

"Elliot, you've been staring at me for the past fifteen minutes." Olivia pointed out. "Do I have something on my face or what?"

Elliot's face quickly blushed. "No, I just... couldn't help it, I guess."

He didn't want to tell her what he was really staring at her for. I mean, can you imagine your best friend saying this to you? - 'Hey, I'm staring at you because I love you, and I wanna marry you and give you my babies.' A little creepy to say right off the bat. He walked up to her desk and sat on the edge of it.

"What are your plans for tonight?" he asked, rubbing his neck.

"My plans? I don't have any." Olivia said, setting down her pen to pay attention to what he had to say.

"Well," he sucked in a breath of air. "Do you wanna go to dinner with me?"

Olivia bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling so wide. She nodded, "Sure."

"And we are not going to McDonald's, so don't dress in your jeans and NYPD shirt." he joked.

Olivia chuckled, "I guess."

"I'll pick you up at eight." He smiled and got up to walk to his desk.

Olivia and Elliot managed to get off at seven, and both rushed home to get ready. Olivia jumped in the shower and got out in literally five minutes. She stood in her closet, trying to decide what to wear. She didn't own very many dresses, and she didn't get a chance to really wear any of the ones that she did have. After blow drying and styling her hair and putting on her makeup, she slid her dress on over her body. She decided not to put on her heels until the very last minute. Her jewelry was next; the necklace Calvin bought her with the money he earned from walking the neighbor's dog, diamond stud earrings and a black bracelet with a small diamond heart dangling off of it.

Elliot walked up to Olivia's apartment building and called up to Olivia's apartment. Olivia buzzed him in and opened the door when he knocked. Elliot's heart stopped, then sped up a million miles. She was beautiful, breathtaking even. The dress she was wearing was so tight, Elliot figured it would rip if she sat down. It hugged her curves in all of the right places, and ended just above her knees.

He cleared his throat and stepped inside, "You look great, Liv."

Olivia blushed and couldn't wipe the smile off her face if she wanted to. Which she didn't. "Thank you. I can say the same for you."

"I do look great, huh?" he joked.

Olivia laughed, "Jesus, Elliot. Yeah, you do, and that big head of yours looks great too."

Elliot smiled, "You ready?"

Olivia looked down at her feet, "I just have to get my shoes and my clutch. I'll be right back."

Olivia disappeared into her bedroom, leaving Elliot alone in the living room. He looked at the pictures around him. Some of her and her mother, one of her and Simon, a lot of her and Elliot, some with the entire precinct, and one of her and Calvin. Elliot knew her heart must've been shattered into a billion pieces when Calvin left, and was probably still hurting. Calvin grew to be like a son to her, and her a mother to him, and to have your "child" ripped from your arms must be hard. It was hard for Elliot to watch, he couldn't even imagine how hard it was to actually experience. He remembered that night when he drove her home, and they talked about pretty much everything. Everything, of course, except their feelings for each other. He came up to her apartment that night and she cried in his arms. He held her close, kissed her hair and whispered comforting words in her ear. He stayed the night with her to make sure she was okay, and of course, Kathy made a snap judgment and accused him of sleeping with Olivia. He wished he were sleeping with Olivia. Hell, he wished he could hold her all night and make sure she was safe every day of her life.

Olivia came back from her room, wearing black shoes with a diamond studded heel and carried a black clutch in her hand. "Ready?"

Elliot nodded. They left her apartment and went to Carmine's, and Italian restaurant. Their waitress handed them their menus and took the drink orders.

Olivia ordered a martini. She was usually a hardcore beer drinker, but she decided to go in a different direction tonight. The waitress brought her her martini, and Elliot's draft beer and took their order. "Thanks," Olivia smiled.

"So, how are things going with Kathy?" Olivia asked, taking a sip of her martini.

"Not so good." Elliot admitted. "She kicked me out when I didn't come home last night. I got the divorce papers this morning. It's okay, though. Maybe I'll be better off." he shrugged.

"I'm so sorry, Elliot. I didn't mean to pry, and if I would've known I wouldn't have asked." Olivia said.

"No, no, don't apologize. My divorce is not your fault. We had it coming for a while, now." He said.

Guilt rose in Olivia's body, making her feel bad about herself. She ordered a stronger drink, hoping it'd take her mind off of it. Olivia cut herself off on the second one, deciding she didn't want to ruin this night. "So, are you gonna start dating again?" she asked.

"Maybe." Elliot said, swiping his credit card at the front desk.

"There's this guy I'm practically in love with, but I'm not sure he'd go for me. It seems he likes blonde hair, blue eyed, pale women. I, am none of the above." She said, laughing.

"What kind of guy wouldn't go for you, Liv? A real stupid one, that's for sure." He said as they walked out of the restaurant.

Olivia put her jacket on as she walked out, "But he's not stupid. Not to me, anyway."

"Any guy would be lucky to have you, Olivia." By any guy, he meant himself. And by lucky, he meant grateful.

"I don't think so, El." She said, and honestly meant. She wasn't even fishing for compliments at this point, her self-esteem was just that low.

He stopped walking and grabbed her shoulders. He looked directly in her eyes, "Olivia, if one guy doesn't like you, then oh well. Someone better will come along, I promise."

"Nobody's better than him." Olivia said. "Nobody will love me the way I know he could."

"I will." Elliot unintentionally blurted.

Elliot knew there was no taking back what he just said. He was relieved that he finally got that off his shoulders, and scared that she'd laugh and punch him in the face.

Little did he know, Olivia was talking about him the entire time.

_**Chapter four, complete! Review, review! **_

_**Personal question: Did y'all watch American Idol? I'm completely SHOCKED and ANGRY at last night's elimination. If you missed it and don't want the ending spoiled, I recommend NOT reading this. HOW COULD PIA GET VOTED OFF? She was probably the best female singer on there (Sorry Lauren and Haley. I still love y'all!)! I, for one, am extremely mad. Especially that she got sent home over STEFANO, who I do not think is a very good singer compared to her. Anyway, thanks for letting me vent to you.**_

_**xo,**_

_**Brie. **_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's note: Hey, guys! Sorry for making y'all wait so long for an update, but I haven't been near a computer. I've been staying at my great-grandma's, not at my house, and she doesn't have a computer.. SOOOOO, yeah. No update. TIL NOW! On with the show!**_

_**Disclaimer: I.. do... not... own... Law & Order: SVU, or any of the characters you recognize.**_

Chapter Five

Olivia jaw dropped, "What?"

Elliot stuffed his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "I mean," he paused, trying to figure out a way to save himself. "I will if you let me."

He decided to just go with his heart and let the words flow freely. He owed her that much.

Olivia's mind was blown, she couldn't believe her ears. "El, I-"

"You don't," he cut her off. "have to spare my feelings or whatever, just... be honest."

"I _honestly _don't know what to say, or, or to think right now." she said. "I feel like you're just on the rebound and that once you get over Kathy, you're not going to want me anymore."

She paused, then continued. "I don't want to go into a relationship just for it not to work out. I don't want to get hurt."

Elliot brushed her hair back, "I'm not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you."

"I just," Olivia sighed. "I'm scared."

"Don't be. You'll never have to be scared ever again if you just trust me." Elliot assured, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back.

Olivia stayed quiet, which made Elliot continue. "I will love you with every ounce of my being, Olivia." He smoothed down her hair. "I promise you."

Olivia nodded. "Okay, I trust you." She said into his neck.

Elliot pulled back from her and took her hand in his, twining their fingers together. They strolled the city, neither of them noticing the dropping temperature.

He walked her home, going all the way up to her door. Which, for them, wasn't new. Elliot always wanted to assure her safety, so he always drove her home and walked her to the door, and on days when he didn't have enough time to walk her up, he'd make her flicker the lights and call him.

_Elliot parked in front of Olivia's apartment building. "Liv, I'm sorry I don't have time to walk you up, but Eli's sick and Kathy's been calling nonstop for me to come home."_

_Olivia smiled. "You don't have to explain anything to me. I'm not your wife. Go, be with your actual wife and kids. I'll see you tomorrow."_

_Elliot's stomach dropped when she said she wasn't his wife. He knew she wasn't, but it still hurt to hear those words. "Flicker the lights on and off, and call me when you get up there."_

_Olivia groaned and threw her head back. "You are overprotective..." Olivia unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the car door._

_He watched as she disappeared in the building and let his eyes float up to her window. He waited a few seconds, and then her lights flickered and his cell phone rang. "You okay?"_

_"Yes, Elliot." Olivia chuckled. "I'm safe."_

_"Did you check in the closets?" Elliot asked. _

_Olivia laughed, "Are you serious? The boogey man is not in my closet, El. Go home."_

_"I'm already on my way home." Elliot said. _

_Olivia made her way to the window, "You liar. I see your car."_

_"Well, I'm leaving now, okay?" Elliot pulled off of the street. _

_"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." Olivia said, opening her diet coke._

"So," Olivia said. "thanks for dinner."

"You're welcome." Elliot said, looking down at his shoes.

"Did you want to come inside?" Olivia asked nervously.

Elliot couldn't say yes fast enough which made Olivia laugh inside. They went in and sat down on Olivia's couch with glasses of red wine. The lights were off, except for a few candles and the moonlight coming in through the window.

"Can I stay here tonight?" Elliot asked.

"Of course, but why?" Olivia set down her glass on the coffee table and slid her heels off, leaving them on the floor in front of her.

"Kathy kicked me out, remember?" Elliot reminded.

"I thought she'd at least let you stay there until you found another place." Olivia said.

"Yeah, well." Elliot inhaled and rolled his eyes. "That's Kathy for ya."

Olivia put her hand on his cheek. "I'm so sorry that you have to go through this."

"I'm not." He shrugged.

"Why's that?" She asked, stroking her thumb against his cheek.

"Because, then I wouldn't be able to do this." He leaned in and pressed his lips against hers.

It was soft, sweet, not demanding at all. It was also mind blowing, unreal, the best kiss of her entire life. They both begged for more, deepening it, exploring each other's mouths with their tongues. His mouth moved to her neck, a place he knew drove her crazy.

A moan escaped her lips, turning Elliot on a whole lot more. He'd wanted to hear that sound from her for the better part of twelve years. "Elliot,"

"Yeah?" He asked through kisses. He trailed kisses along her neck and made his way back to her lips.

She put her hands against his chest and pushed them apart. "I want this, you can't even imagine how much, but," she paused. "you're married and I just can't bring myself to sleep with someone else's husband. I refuse to be the other woman."

"Who said anything about sleeping?" Elliot smirked.

Olivia chuckled, "I'm serious, Elliot. We can't do this. Not yet, anyway."

"Ah," Elliot smiled. "_Yet._ Key word. Meaning, it will happen."

"It will definitely happen and it will be the best you ever had." Olivia said, causing Elliot to lick his lips. She put her mouth right by his ear. "I plan to rock your world."

Olivia got up to change out of her dress, only to find Elliot half asleep on the couch when she came back. "Hey," he jumped and raised his eyebrows. "Wake up."

"I'm tired." he mumbled.

"Can you..." she said, nervously. "Will you lay with me tonight? Just... hold me?"

Elliot nodded, "Whatever you want."

She led him to her bedroom and laid down on the bed beside him. "Goodnight, El." She kissed his nose and pressed her body against his, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Goodnight, beautiful." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

The two of them drifted off to sleep, both extremely happy for the first time in a very long time.

And it was a good night indeed.

_**Author's note: This chapter was so fun to write. I just love me some Liv and El action. **_

_**REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW.**_

_**XO,**_

_**Briana.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Author's note: I KNOW Y'ALL ARE MENTALLY STABBING ME WITH SPORKS FOR NOT UPDATING SOONER. I apologize. I just... Well, I've been.. Been doing absolutely nothing. I've just been way too lazy to write a new chapter. AND I'M HAVING MAJOR WRITER'S BLOCK. So, yeaaah. Here's chapter.. six!**_

_**Disclaimer: Still not mine... unfortunately. Olivia.. Elliot... Anybody else you know... not mine either. BOO, YOU WHORE.**_

_**Btw: This is like.. a week ahead of time. YEEEEEEEEEEAH. So. Yeah. Here. Read. Now. Please? Okay. Goodbye.**_

Chapter six

Olivia sat at the foot of her bed, mentally kicking herself for being so stupid.

_Olivia did a double take when she saw Kathy Stabler march into the precinct. "Kathy? What are you doing here?"_

_"Where's my husband?" Kathy snapped._

_"Court." Olivia answered, pointing her attention back to her computer screen. If Kathy was going to be a bitch, so was she._

_"Well, when's he going to be back?" Kathy sounded annoyed as she folded her arms across her chest._

_"I don't know, later?" Olivia rolled her eyes._

_"What the hell is your problem?" Kathy asked, sitting down in Elliot's desk chair._

_"Did I say I had a problem?" Olivia wanted to laugh, smile, anything. She loved this._

_Kathy scoffed and smirked. "I know what's wrong. Your pissed because I came in here trying to talk to your little boyfriend." _

_"Who, Elliot? He is __**not **__my boyfriend." Olivia said._

_"Yes, he is." Kathy flipped her hair back. "I bet you opened him with open arms when I kicked him out." She stood up from the chair. "And legs!"_

_Olivia glared at her. "Think whatever you want, Kathy. Elliot and I are not in a relationship."_

_"Oh, you don't have to be in a relationship to screw each other." Kathy said, walking closer to Olivia's desk._

_"We are not 'screwing' each other, either." Olivia said, shaking her head and raising her eyebrows._

_"Whatever, Olivia. You know damn good and well you're lying. On your back. With your legs spread wide open for Elliot." Kathy smirked._

_Olivia bit the inside of her cheek and inhaled sharply. "You are.. insane."_

_"Insane? No. Right? Yes." Kathy said. "Look, tell Elliot I stopped by, would you?"_

_Olivia nodded and continued typing. _

_Kathy walked out of the doors, but stopped and turned around. "He's married, Olivia. Keep that in mind."_

If people were going to assume they were sleeping together when they weren't, she wasn't sure she could do this anymore. Him living with her, sleeping in her bed.

She couldn't possibly put up with the looks, the talking behind her back, the whispers as she walked by. She felt like she was in high school again, and she hated that. She hated high school. She hated this.

Not Elliot, of course, but the situation. She needed to talk to him, and fast.

He went down the street to get dinner for them, but would be back shortly.

Olivia paced her bedroom, thinking of what to say to him.

"Elliot, I just don't think this is working." Olivia said to herself.

"Maybe, this isn't the best thing for us right now."

"It's not you, it's me."

"We're better off as friends."

"You have a wife and kids who need you, go home to them."

Kathy's words kept ringing in her ears.

_He's married, Olivia. Keep that in mind._

And she did keep it in mind. It was etched in her brain, stuck in her ears.

Trapped in her heart.

She heard the front door open and close. "Liv, I'm back."

She inhaled, exhaled and walked to the kitchen.

"You're not gonna believe this. The guy at the restaurant gave us _two _extra boxes of sesame chicken. For free! Isn't that-" He noticed the frown on her face and stopped talking. "What's wrong?"

Olivia sighed and bit her bottom lip. "I think we need to talk."

Elliot's heart stopped. Those words were never good. Every time he heard those words, Kathy was telling him she was leaving him and taking the kids with her. "About?"

Olivia motioned to the couch. "Sit down."

Elliot followed her orders and sat next to her on the couch. "What's up?"

"Elliot, I don't think this is working. Maybe this just isn't the best thing for us right now. It's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong. It's me. Maybe we're just better off as friends. Besides, you have a wife and kids who need you at home with them." Olivia said.

"I don't want Kathy, Olivia. I want you." He said, taking her hands in his.

She pulled them away. "Don't. Don't make this harder than it already is."

"I don't believe you." Elliot said, standing up. "You're impossible to please. I confess my fucking feelings for you, and you.. you, kick me in the fucking teeth again!" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I tell you I love you; three words that you know you want to fucking hear and you don't even acknowledge the fact that I said it!"

"Elliot, I did acknowledge that you said it!" Olivia shouted back.

"No! You didn't! I tell you I love you, I tell you you're beautiful, I treat you like a fucking queen, Olivia! The way you _deserve _to be treated!" Elliot yelled. "I go out in the fucking cold and get you some shitty Chinese take out, because that's what you wanted! That's what _you _wanted, Olivia!"

_Olivia. _He almost never calls her by her full name.

Olivia's eyes watered, but she quickly blinked back the tears that threatened to escape. She didn't say a word. She didn't know what to say, so she didn't.

"You _deserve _the fucking world, Olivia, and I'm willing to give it to you." His voice lowered, he wasn't as tense. "I love you, Liv. I love you so much, and I don't think you even see that. I'm starting to wonder if you even feel the same way."

"I do." Olivia croaked out. "I do feel the same way."

"Then why are you doing this?" Elliot asked.

Olivia shrugged. "You need to be with your family."

"Nearly all of my kids are adults, they don't want to take time out of their busy schedules to see me. I can get Lizzie, Richard or Eli whenever I want, but I figured since I don't really have a home of my own right now, I'd wait to pick them up until I did." Elliot explained.

"You can bring them over here whenever you want, El. You never have to ask or anything." Olivia said.

"So, you want me here?" Elliot asked.

"I never once said I didn't." Olivia got up and walked toward him. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you, El."

"You said it." He was shocked.

Olivia nodded. "And I meant it."

"I love you too, Olivia."

She pulled back and kissed him.

_**Author's note: This chapter was... intense. Am I rushing things a little bit? I thought I was, that's why I was gonna write a break-up into the story, but then I realized that... OLIVIA AND ELLIOT CAN NEVER BE SPLIT UP. Even if it's in fanfiction. **_

_**Personal question: Did any of y'all watch Criminal Intent last night? I never watch it, but my grandma decided she was gonna watch it, so I joined her. It was pretty darn good. It was really cool seeing Goren and Eames together again. My aunt pointed out that Eames wears necklaces like Olivia... COPY CATTER. Hahahaha. Joking, guys. I'm joking. **_

_**Did y'all watch AMERICAN IDOL? Casey going home was pretty intense. I wonder who's going to be next. I hope it's James (Sorry, James fans). Haley, Lauren, Scotty, Jacob and James are left, right? I'm not a big fan of James... SORRY! It's nothing personal, I just.. I don't really think I'd listen to his music. I don't think I'd listen to Jacob's either, but I like him as a person. He's adorable.**_

_**Mmkkkkaaaay, weeell, REVIIIEW!**_

_**Xo,**_

_**Briana (:**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Author's note: I am not in a good mood today... My grandma just called me from work and said that Kendra got kicked off of DWTS. She was all, "Get excited!" But, I'm not excited! First Wendy, now Kendra. Who's next, Kirstie? Oh, jeez. I need to stop revolving my life around television. I always get way too emotionally involved.**_

_**StevieLUVSAlex- I know I used the "f" word a lot, sorry! I actually have mouth like a sailor, so I kinda made Elliot have one too. I realized how much I said it in the first chapter, so I cut back a little on it on the next few chapters, then I kinda went back to it.. I'll substitute the word. I do, afterall, only want to please y'all! (:**_

_**Disclaimer: If SVU were on DWTS, I bet they'd get kicked off too, because I LIKE THE SHOW, AND IT SEEMS AMERICA IS TRYING TO RID EVERYTHING I LIKE! Anyway, not mine.**_

Chapter seven

Olivia never understood the point of a relationship. She could never wrap her finger around the reasoning for going through the pain and suffering some people go through to endure one. She herself had never actually been in a real relationship, though. She was always too scared to love someone full-on. To tell that person every detail about yourself. About your childhood, about your love life. Of course, Elliot knew almost everything about her except her bra size.

Although, he did stare at her enough to possibly figure it out.

She was never one to lay in bed at two in the morning, fantasizing about what her future would be like with a certain guy.

That is, of course, until she met Elliot.

She always wondered what would happen if he ever divorced Kathy. What would the two of them become? More than partners? More than lovers? The thought of the two of them together drove her crazy.

She looked over at the clock on the nightstand and sighed. _2:53. _

She turned her head the other way and slightly smiled at the man lying beside her. His chest rose and fell in a smooth, even pattern. Olivia put her hand on top of his and slid her fingers in between his thumb and forefinger. She rubbed his knuckles with her thumb and exhaled deeply.

She thought about the very first time she realized she loved him.

_"It's not that, I jus-" Olivia shouted into the black phone resting on her desk. "Will you let me finish?" _

_"Oh my god, shut the hell up! Whatever, don't call me anymore." She slammed the phone onto the receiver and stood up quickly, sliding her chair across the room._

_She stormed up to the roof, and inhaled the Autumn air and leaned on the ledge of the building. Her hands tightly gripped the railing, her knuckles turning white during. _

_The door opened and slammed shut, causing Olivia to frantically wipe at the tears she didn't even know were flowing down her face. She felt someone approaching her and didn't even bother to turn around. An arm snaked around her back, pulling her close. It was Elliot; she could tell by his scent._

_No, that didn't sound stalker-ish at all._

_Elliot wrapped his other arm around her and rubbed her back. "That guy's a loser, Liv."_

_Olivia remained quiet._

_"He's stupid for letting you go." Elliot said into her hair. "You're too pretty for him, anyway."_

_Olivia laughed slightly and pulled back._

_"You okay?" He asked, bending his head down, trying to meet her gaze._

_Olivia nodded. "Fine."_

_The way he comforted her, the way his arms tightly secured her inside of them, made her realize how special Elliot truly is. How much he really means to her._

Olivia was too busy thinking about Elliot, that she didn't even notice him wake up. His voice is what brought her out of her trance.

"What's on your pretty little mind?" he asked, linking their fingers together.

Olivia shook her head.

"Nothing? That look on your face, and _nothing _is on your mind? I find that very hard to believe." He said.

She met his eyes and smiled. "I really do love you, El."

"Good." He said, smirking.

"Good?" She asked, fixing the comforter around her.

"Because I really do love you too." Elliot said, turning on his side.

"Y'know, it's never been that easy for me to say." Olivia blurted. "And it's never been that easy for me to admit."

"Well, I'm glad I make you comfortable enough to tell me these things." He said, pushing away the hair that fell onto her neck. "Anything else you'd care to talk about?"

Olivia smiled weakly and shook her head. "Not right now."

"But you do want to talk eventually?" Elliot asked.

"Eventually, just not now." Olivia said.

"Whenever you feel like talking, whether it's noon or midnight, I'm here to listen." Elliot said, cuddling up to her side, resting his head on her chest.

"I'll keep that in mind." Olivia said, wrapping her arm around his back.

_**Author's note: OMG. I was just thinking about something. I LOVE Y'ALL. And I apologize for the excessive use of "cuss words" and anything else that makes y'all the slightest bit uncomfortable. I'm only here to please y'all, so be sure to tell me how to please y'all even more. **_

_**Btw, this is like, the shortest chapter I've ever written. I'm not even exactly sure why I wrote it, but I did. I really didn't have anything to do today and I kinda felt like writing, so I figured why not? I guess it's kinda a fluffy little filler chapter thing. LOL. **_

_**Xo,**_

_**Briana (:**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Author's note: Hello guuuys. Are y'all ready for chapter eight? You are? Okay! Here we go.**_

_**Disclaimer: Wasn't mine yesterday, isn't mine today, and won't be mine tomorrow. Dick Wolf is keeping all of my Olivia and Elliot to himself. BOO.**_

Chapter Eight

There was finally a break in the case they'd been working on. The dead little boy's name was Benjamin Swank, estimated to be around six. They got his parents' address and went on their way.

"This the place?" Elliot asked as he pulled up curbside of an apartment building.

Olivia looked at her phone and back at the building, "Yeah, this is it."

"You ready?" He asked.

Olivia nodded. "Let's get this over with."

They walked into the building and knocked on apartment 3B. A girl who looked to be around seventeen answered. They flashed their badges to the girl.

"Hello." Olivia said. "I'm Detective Benson, this is my partner Detective Stabler. Are your parents home?"

The girl shook her head. "They're out of state."

Her eyes were red and puffy, she had bags under her eyes, her hair was going in a million different directions. It looked like she'd been crying and hadn't slept.

"Where are they?" Elliot asked.

The girl shrugged. "I don't remember."

"Well, when did they leave?" Olivia asked.

The girl stepped aside and let them in the apartment. "A couple of months ago."

"And they left you here alone?" Olivia looked around the apartment.

"With my brother, Ben." The girl said.

"What's your name?" Elliot asked.

"Crista Swank." She answered.

"Crista, how old are you?" Olivia asked.

"I just turned sixteen." Crista answered, sniffling.

Olivia looked at Crista and furrowed her eyebrows. "Crista," Olivia paused. "you're pregnant?"

Crista's eyes watered and she nodded. "Yeah, 8 months along. My parents left when they found out."

"Where's your brother?" Elliot asked.

Crista started bawling. "I had to go to work one night, and I didn't have anyone to watch him. He's seven, I figured he could watch himself, so I left him home alone. I came back around midnight and he wasn't here."

"You didn't call the police?" Elliot asked.

"I was too scared to." Crista answered.

"Crista, do you happen to have a picture of Ben?" Olivia asked.

Crista nodded and went to her bedroom. She came back with a few pictures in her hand. "I took him to the zoo last weekend. These are the most recent."

Olivia's heart broke. Ben's blue eyes were full of joy and love for his sister. Crista's long brown hair had fallen into her face, only half of her was visible, but her smile was obvious. She had the same blue eyes as her brother, and the same dimples in her cheeks as he did. There was one where Ben had fingers on either side of his mouth and was pulling his cheeks, sticking his tongue out.

"Why don't we sit down?" Olivia said, gesturing to the couch behind her.

"Something's wrong, isn't it?" Crista's voice was filled with fear and sorrow.

"What night did you leave Ben hear alone?" Elliot asked.

Crista closed her eyes and thought back. "Monday. December... 12th."

"Crista," Olivia dreaded telling this pregnant girl that her little brother had been raped and murdered while in her care. "On Wednesday, we found a little boy, matching your brother's description."

"Oh, thank god!" Crista shouted. "He's okay? Do I need to go pick him up?"

Olivia sighed, "Crista, I'm sorry, but he wasn't alive when we found him."

"Wait." Crista said. "Benny's...dead?"

"I'm so sorry." Olivia said.

Crista cried for awhile and Olivia comforted her. Elliot wasn't exactly sure what to do, so he just stood in the corner of the room, not saying a word. Sending a silent prayer for Crista and her baby.

Crista finally calmed down. "I'm sorry, I got tears all over your coat."

Olivia weakly smiled. "It's fine. Crista, do you think you can come down to the station with us? Make a statement, identify the body?"

Crista's face wrinkled up. "I have to identify his body?"

"I'm sorry, it's not fun, but yes." Olivia said.

Crista nodded. "Can I change clothes first?"

"Of course." Olivia said.

Crista got up and walked toward her bedroom again. She pointed at a closed door. "This is Ben's bedroom, if you want to look around it or whatever."

Elliot walked into the bedroom and Olivia followed. He picked up a toy car, "Eli has one of these."

"This case a little tough for you?" Olivia asked.

Elliot nodded and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Wanna get your kids tonight?" Olivia asked.

"Let's not discuss it right now, we're working." Elliot said.

"Forgot." Olivia smirked.

Crista came back out and stood in the door frame of Ben's bedroom. "I got him that car on payday." Crista smiled. "He was so excited when I gave it to him."

Olivia smiled. "You ready to go?"

Crista nodded and headed toward the front door.

They got to the station and Elliot went down to the morgue to see if Melinda was ready to have the body viewed, while Crista and Olivia sat in an interrogation room.

"Do you have a phone I could use? I left mine at home and I have to call the adoption agency." Crista said.

"Adoption agency?" Olivia asked, pulling her cell phone out of her pocket.

Crista nodded. "I can't keep this baby."

She dialed a number and waited for someone to pick up.

_"Mary Alice's Adoption Agency, how may I help you?"_

"Hi, this is Crista Swank. Is Lisa there?"

_"Yes, miss Swank, hold a second while I transfer you."_

"Thank you."

Crista waited a few seconds, then somebody answered.

_"Lisa Crow,"_

"Hey, Lisa, this is Crista Swank."

_"Hey, Crista. How are you today?"_

"Fine. Any news?"

_"They decided not to go with you, I'm sorry."_

Crista sighed. "Did they find someone else?"

_"Yeah, afraid so. Don't worry, though. I just left a message with another couple. I'll let you know when they call back._

"Okay, thanks."

Crista hung up the call and handed the phone back to Olivia.

"Everything alright?" Olivia asked, sliding the phone back into her pocket.

Crista shrugged. "There's so many people out there who want a baby, right?"

Olivia nodded.

"Okay, then, why is it that nobody seems to want to adopt my baby?"

Olivia shrugged. "I don't know the answer to that, Crista."

Crista shook her head. "Do you have any kids, detective?"

"No," Olivia said. "I don't."

"Why not?" Crista pried.

"Never been fortunate enough, I guess." Olivia answered.

Crista turned to the one-way mirror. "Nobody's listening right?"

Olivia chuckled. "Nobody's listening."

"Good." Crista said. "So, you've just never found the right man or what?"

"I found the right man, I just found him a little too late. He's married, has kids of his own." Olivia answered.

"All the good ones are always married or gay." Crista said.

Olivia chuckled. "Oh my god, yes."

Crista smiled. "I didn't think I'd smile today, considering I just found out my brother's dead, but I just can't help it."

"I know it's hard to deal with, Crista, but we will give your brother justice. I swear, we will find the person who did this." Olivia said.

"I trust you all." Crista said. "I've been conversating with you all day, and I don't even know your first name."

"Olivia." she answered.

"Olivia." Crista repeated.

Olivia nodded, "I don't mean to pry, but who's the father of your baby?"

"Some guy. He's married, has a family. He said he doesn't want anything to do with us." Crista answered.

"He's married?" Olivia asked.

Crista nodded. "I know, I know. Stat rape."

"Yeah. Who is he?" Olivia asked.

"Nobody important." Crista answered.

"Are you having a boy or a girl?" Olivia asked.

"A little girl." Crista answered.

Elliot came into the room they were in, "Hey, Warner's ready."

Olivia and Crista stood up and left to the morgue.

"Crista, it'll be okay, alright?" Olivia comforted.

Crista nodded.

They walked into the morgue. It was cold, smelled like death. Melinda shared looks between Olivia and Elliot and folded down the sheet, revealing Ben's face.

Crista let in a sharp breath of air and turned away from him. "That's him, that's Ben."

She left the room, making her way into the hallway.

Olivia followed her out, "Crista, are you okay?"

Crista shook her head, "No, I'm not."

Olivia put her arm around Crista's shoulders and led her outside. "It'll be okay, Crista. I promise."

"Call me if you need anything else, detective. I'll be going home, now." Crista said, walking away from Olivia.

Olivia watched as the pregnant sixteen-year-old she just met walked away. She was so concerned for this little girl and her baby, she cared about both of them way too much.

_**Author's note: Okay, okay. This chapter was very.. work-y. It was really based on work, and that case that I built up in like.. Chapter two, and never talked about again. UNTIL NOW. Oh yeeaaah! **_

_**American Idol elimination is tonight. DUN DUN DUN. Who do you think will go home? I am a big, big fan of Lauren's OF COURSE. and Haley's. DUH. girl powerrrr.**_

_**XO,**_

_**Briana**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Author's note: I decided to do TWO chapters today! Yay! I know, I'm just in THAT good of a mood. Here's chapter nine!**_

_**Disclaimer: Dick Wolf owns everything you recognize.. **_

Chapter Nine

It had been nearly three days since Crista disappeared from Olivia's life. She decided to stop by her apartment that night to assure her safety.

Olivia knocked on Crista's front door, "Crista, it's Olivia. Open up."

Olivia heard a baby crying and put her ear to the door. It was coming from Crista's. She had her baby?

The next door neighbor came out of her apartment, "When that girl answers, tell her to shut that baby up. It's been crying for nearly an hour!"

Olivia turned the doorknob, it was unlocked. She went inside the apartment. "Crista? Where are you?"

She saw the baby in a carseat by the couch and picked her up out of it. "It's okay, baby." She comforted. Rocking the baby as she walked through the apartment.

She knocked on Crista's bedroom door and opened it, when there was no answer. Olivia saw Crista hanging from a pipe in the ceiling and set the baby down on the bed with pillows around her. She pulled Crista down, tears filling her eyes. "Crista, come on, honey, wake up."

She searched for a pulse, but there was none. She called for a bus and did everything she could to try and save Crista, but she couldn't. The ambulance and the police arrived, one of the paramedics took the baby from Olivia.

"Detective," a uniformed officer came up to her. "we found these on the nightstand, I figure you'd want to take a look at 'em."

The officer handed her a small stack of papers, including a handwritten letter.

_I want my baby to know that I love her, I want her to know that I didn't do this because of her. She is a beautiful, sweet creature and she deserves every happiness. Something that I cannot give her. I cannot provide for her, I can barely provide for myself. My little brother and I can be together again. I met someone recently who I learned can better care for my baby girl than I can. Olivia Benson - I want her to have full custody of my daughter. They deserve each other._

Olivia's eyes filled with tears again.

_Olivia, you are a strong, beautiful, successful woman. You can take care of my little girl, I know you can. You are now fortunate enough to have a baby. I know that she is not yours biologically, so I don't want you to treat her any differently in the future. Please, let her be your daughter. She deserves a mommy. One who will love her and care for her. A mommy who will read her bedtime stories and sing to her and tuck her into bed at night. I know you can be that mommy for her, Olivia. Please take care of her, you're all the has left in this world._

_Here are the papers you need to adopt her. I've signed them, now you have to do the same. She'll be yours with a simple sign of your name._

_All my love,_

_Crista Ella Swank_

By the time Olivia finished the letter, she was bawling. She read over the papers and clutched them tightly. She called Elliot, told him what happened and he rushed right over.

He embraced her in a hug when he got there, but tried not to make it too intimate looking.

"Are you okay?" Elliot asked.

"I am now that you're here." Olivia answered.

They pulled back. "Are you gonna sign the papers?"

Olivia shrugged. "A baby is a big responsibility."

"You're right." Elliot said.

"I don't know what to do, honestly." Olivia said.

"It's all up to you." Elliot said.

"Where is she?" Olivia asked, looking around.

She saw the baby with a paramedic and went up to her. "I'll take her." Olivia said, taking the baby from the paramedic's arms.

Olivia smiled at the beautiful baby girl before her. Her eyes were blue, just like her biological mothers and her nephew. The little hair she did have was brown, also like her mother's. She had dimples, Olivia realized. Once again, like her mother. She was the spitting image of Crista, and Olivia loved that. Crista would always hold a special place in her heart, even though she only knew her for a little while.

"El," Olivia said. "Give me a pen and those papers."

Elliot did as she said and she signed them without a second thought. This baby girl would be hers for the rest of her life, she decided.

Olivia sat on her couch, cradling her new baby girl. Elliot came up behind her, "What's her name?"

"Oh, right. I have to give her one of those." Olivia said, slightly laughing. She waited a few seconds, then answered. "Ella."

"I love it." Elliot said.

"It was Crista's middle name, and it kinda sounds like your name. Win-win situation." Olivia smiled.

"We'll go tomorrow to finish up the neccessary paperwork, alright?" Elliot kissed her temple and went over to kiss Ella's head.

Olivia nodded. "Sounds good to me."

"I'm gonna go shower, come get me if you need anything." Elliot said.

He disappeared into the bathroom and started the shower.

Olivia rubbed her thumb along Ella's head.

"I love you already, Ella." Olivia said.

_**Author's note: See! YOU FREAKIN' SEE? Olivia would be a GREAT mother, why can't they do something like this in the show? I would give my right arm to have this happen. I'm satisfied. Olivia got the baby she deserves in this chapter.**_

_**Wanna see more Ella/Olivia/Elliot family action? WELL, REVIEW! **_

_**Xo,**_

_**Briana**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Author's note: Hola, people. How goes it? I hope y'all are ready for chapter TEN, baby! TEN! I'm stoked. Here we gooooo.**_

_**Disclaimer: STILL NOT MINE. I'm still holding my breath, though. Dick Wolf owns everyone you recognize.**_

_**BTW: I know, I kind of rushed a baby into this story, but HEY! It's fanfiction! I don't know a lot about adoption or whatever, but I'm trying my best. SO, just.. whatever. Yeah.**_

Chapter Ten

Olivia woke up to piercing wails. She looked around for Ella, but she wasn't beside her. She looked for Elliot, who was also nowhere around. She climbed out of bed and ran to the living room, where the cries were coming from.

Elliot was rocking back and forth, shushing Ella and patting her back. "Ella, shh, you're gonna wake your mommy."

Olivia smiled when Elliot called her Ella's _mommy._

"You're pretty good at that," Olivia said, sleepily.

"I've had a lot of experience." Elliot answered.

"Want me to get her?" Olivia yawned.

"You need sleep, Liv." Elliot said. "I'm used to getting up at three in the morning to tend to a screaming baby."

"Yeah, but she's not your responsibility, El." Olivia said, pushing her messy hair out of her face.

Elliot walked up to her and kissed her. "Go back to bed, Liv. I've got her."

Olivia hesitated, but agreed. "Please, come and get me if you need me."

"I will, I swear." Elliot said as he kissed Ella's head.

Olivia smiled and went back to bed. It was surprisingly easy for her to fall asleep again. It seemed like she was only asleep for five minutes before her alarm clock went off. She rolled over, expecting to land right beside Elliot, but he wasn't there. Was he already up?

She walked out of her bedroom and into the living room. She smiled when she saw Elliot asleep on the couch, cradling Ella.

Olivia was glad she decided to bring this little girl home with her. She couldn't wait to watch Ella grow up. Her first steps, her first words, her first day of school; Olivia would be the one to experience all of that.

Ella was awake in Elliot's arms, so Olivia picked her up and held her close. She kissed the side of her head and rubbed soothing circles on her back. After realizing Ella needed her diaper changed, so she walked to the bag by the door, which unfortunately didn't have any diapers in it. She rolled her eyes and dropped the bag to the floor.

"Feel like running to the store, Ella?" Olivia rhetorically asked the baby.

Ella grunted in response. "I'll take that as a yes." Olivia said, smiling.

Olivia bundled up herself as well as Ella and headed out of her apartment. There weren't many stores open at 6 a.m., so she went to a twenty-four hour store and bought Ella the necessary items she'd need for the next few weeks, then headed back to her apartment.

She wasn't surprised to see Elliot was still asleep on the couch, considering he was up all night with the baby. Olivia felt guilty that he didn't get much sleep knowing he had to work. She set Ella's car seat and the bags beside the front door, took Ella out and went to change her.

Once she was done, she smiled at the little girl, whose tiny body was only dressed in a diaper. "Wanna wear that pretty new outfit we bought you?" Olivia cooed.

Olivia got out the black long sleeved, pink polka dotted dress that had a white bow around the middle, and gently put it on Ella, adding the white pantyhose to match. "We have a busy, busy day ahead of us, little lady."

She picked Ella up, "Let's go wake up Mr. Lazy bones."

Olivia carried Ella to the living room and woke up Elliot. "Get up, sleeping beauty."

Ellliot slowly opened his eyes, "What time is it?"

Olivia looked at her watch. "Nearly eight, you should probably get up."

Elliot did as she said and got up off the couch. "Where'd Ella get that dress?"

Olivia smiled and smoothed down Ella's tiny bit of hair. "We went shopping."

Elliot walked to the bathroom, "How'd that go?" He asked over his shoulders.

Olivia went to the kitchen and started preparing Ella's bottle. "It was fine. She actually did really well; no crying, no fussing."

Olivia heard the shower start, so she doubted Elliot heard her response. She sat down on the couch and fed Ella.

She pushed down Ella's dress from her face, so the milk wouldn't get on it. "You're hungry aren't you, sweet pea?"

Ella finished her bottle, and Olivia rested her on her chest, burping her. She grabbed her cellphone and made a phone call to the case worker that was in charge of Ella's adoption.

_"Lisa Crowe,"_

"Hey Lisa, this is Olivia Benson, I got custody of Crista's baby girl,"

_"Oh, hi! How are you?"_

"I'm doing good and yourself?"

_"I'm fine. Did you have any questions?"_

"I was wanting to know if the rest of that paperwork is ready?"

_"Yes, ma'am, it is. All I need is for you to come down and sign some forms, and fill out her birth certificate."_

"That's it?"

_"As far as I know. I'd take her to a pediatrician or something, just to assure she's healthy, but other than that, I think you're just about done."_

"Okay, well, I'll be by your office a little later, then."

_"10:00 good? I'll email you the address, see you soon, dear."_

"Sounds great, thank you."

_"Buh-bye."_

Elliot got out of the shower and snuck up behind Olivia. He kissed her cheek, "Are you going to work?"

Olivia rolled her eyes, "Crap, I forgot all about work."

"You don't really have a choice here, do you?" Elliot asked, adjusting his black tie around himself.

"Not a one." Olivia said, standing off the couch. "You about ready?"

Elliot nodded, "Are you going to the precinct?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna go talk to Cragen, take a day or two off. Get my dirty clothes out of my locker." Olivia said, patting Ella's back.

"Let's go, then." Elliot said.

Olivia handed Ella to Elliot, "Can you put her in her seat for me?"

Elliot agreed, strapping Ella into her car seat. "You ready for a day on the town, Ella?"

Olivia grabbed her purse and the diaper bag and walked back toward Elliot with a hat in her hand. She put the fuzzy pink hat on Ella's head and chuckled lightly.

"There. She's bundled up pretty good." She put a blanket on top of the car seat, covering her up.

Elliot put on his coat, then Olivia's and picked up the car seat, "Don't get all offended, but," he opened the front door. "Where'd you learn to be such a great mom?"

Olivia locked the front door behind them and shoved the keys in her purse. "I dunno," she shrugged.

They arrived at the precinct and were both surprised that they made it to their desks without anyone approaching them.

Elliot set the car seat down on Olivia's desk and she began to cry. Olivia set her bags in her chair and picked Ella up out of her seat. "Jesus, Ella. Now you decide to fuss?"

"Is she hungry?" Elliot asked.

"I fed her before we left." Olivia said, bouncing Ella up and down lightly. "Maybe she needs to be changed."

"Probably." Elliot agreed. "Are you gonna do it, or you want me to?"

"I've got it. Cragen's busy right now anyway, I'll give him some time." Olivia grabbed the diaper bag and headed to the crib.

Munch approached Elliot. "You and Liv are having kids already? You just started staying with her a few weeks ago."

"Remember that kid Crista Swank?" Munch nodded, Elliot continued. "She left her baby with Liv."

"Another one? Hopefully she gets to keep this one." Munch said. "Where'd Crista run off to?"

"The morgue." Elliot sighed. "Crista took her life."

"That must be hard, how's Liv doing with that?" Munch asked.

"Ella's taken her mind off of it a lot, it seems." Elliot explained.

Fin came up behind the pair, "Liv got another kid?"

"You know, you two are extremely nosey." Elliot said. "But, yes, she did."

"You and Liv playin' mommy and daddy at her place?" Fin joked.

"Screw you," Elliot smirked.

"You see," Munch said, turning to Fin. "Olivia and Elliot get to have babies together. Why can't we?"

Fin smacked Munch on the back of his head. "Shut up."

Elliot saw Olivia walking back and smiled at her. "She okay now?"

"Yeah," Olivia had her resting on her chest, holding her head protectively. "She's fine."

Cragen walked out of his office and looked at Olivia, furrowing her eyebrows. "Detective Benson," he said. "Can I have a word?"

Olivia walked into Cragen's office, taking a seat in the chair in front of his desk. He shut the door behind them and sat at his desk, across from her.

"I just got off the phone with your case worker," Cragen said.

Olivia adjusted Ella in her arms, moving her from her shoulder to cradle her. "Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all. I just want to make sure you know what you're doing here." Cragen directed his eyes to Ella.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked, confused.

"Are you absolutely positive you're ready for the responsibility of a newborn baby?" Cragen asked.

"Captain, I can handle it." OIivia assured.

"I trust your judgment, detective." Cragen pulled a sheet of paper from his top drawer. "Here's the number of the doctor that delivered Crista Swank's baby, and the number of Crista's aunt, Heather Whitman. Who, by the way, I talked to already. She doesn't want anything to do with the baby, don't worry."

"Did you find Crista's parents?" Olivia asked.

"They're in Dallas, I spoke to them, directly. They don't want the baby either." Cragen informed.

"And the baby's father?" Olivia asked.

"You said Crista wouldn't give you his name, so I ran the baby's DNA, no matches." Cragen said. "No telling who the guy is."

Olivia nodded and took the paper from Cragen.

"Also," Cragen added. "Heather Whitman is having Benjamin and Crista's funeral on the same day, tomorrow. I'm sure you'll want to be there."

"Thanks, I'll give her a call." Olivia said, standing up. "Is that all?"

"Yeah, that's it. How many days are you gonna need off?" He asked, completely reading her mind.

"A few, I guess. Most day cares I know take babies six weeks and up. I think I'll have to find a nanny or something." Olivia informed.

"I'll see you back here Monday." Cragen said.

"Five days, Cap? Isn't that a bit much?" Ella began to fuss, so Olivia put her back on her chest and patted her back.

Cragen was impressed with how well Olivia adjusted to being a mother, and how good she was at it. "Five days, no less. I don't think you should be working Benjamin's case anymore either."

"Why?" Olivia asked, swaying back and forth.

"You're too emotionally involved right now, Olivia, I'm sorry." Cragen said, sympathetically. "Elliot, Munch and Fin can work it."

Olivia bit her bottom lip. "Fine."

"I'll see you Monday." Cragen said.

Olivia walked out of his office and back to her desk.

"What'd Cragen say?" Elliot asked, rubbing Ella's back.

"Five days off." Olivia said.

"Now that's a vacation." Elliot smiled.

"Yeah," Olivia glanced at the clock and sighed. "It's already nine? I'd better clean out my locker."

Elliot nodded. "Want me to get her?"

Olivia handed Ella to Elliot, "I won't be long. And don't let Munch hold her. I have a very strong feeling he won't give her back."

Elliot chuckled and watched as Olivia walked to her locker. He cradled Ella and brushed her hair down. He pulled Benjamin's case file out from his desk and began working on it while Ella stared at him. Her big, bright blue eyes locking on his.

Munch sat at his desk. "Hey, Stabler, can I hold her?"

Elliot thought about Olivia's words, but knew she was only joking. "Yeah."

He got up and took the baby from Elliot's arms. "Hi there, little girl. I'm your uncle John."

"Uncle?" Elliot smirked.

"What? I can't be her metaphorical uncle?" Munch asked, brushing Ella's cheek with the back of his finger.

"Knock yourself out." Elliot said.

"Literally, knock yourself out." Fin said, approaching his desk. "Lemme hold her."

"No, she's mine." Munch said, turning his body away from Fin.

Fin clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "Man, come on. I wanna hold her."

Elliot intervened. "Munch, come on, let Fin hold her for a little while."

"But I just got her!" Munch argued.

Elliot shot him a death glare and Munch gave in, handing Ella to Fin.

Fin smiled at Ella. "Hey, baby girl. You can call me Fin, when you're able to."

Olivia walked up to the group with a box underneath her arms. "Alright, that took a good ten minutes. I'll clean out my email then head to my appointment."

Olivia looked at Fin and smirked. "Make a new friend there, Fin?"

"I think I should keep her until she's like, five, and then you can have her back." Fin joked.

Olivia smiled and sat at her desk, logging onto her computer. She opened her email and gasped when she saw a certain one. "Oh, my God."

Elliot looked up at her. "What's wrong?"

"I have an email," Olivia paused, clicking on it. "from Casey."

"Casey Novak?" Elliot asked.

Olivia nodded and got lost in the email.

_Olivia,_

_Hey, honey, how are you? It was a shame I didn't get to see you the last time I was in New York, recently. I missed you. I know I haven't kept in touch with you lately and I'm sorry for that. I had a boyfriend that wanted me to leave behind my life in New York, and that included the people in it. Lately, I've just been missing everyone so much and I feel I really need my fix of Bad Ass Benson. I was heading back to New York tomorrow and was wanting to see you. Let me know if you're available._

_-Casey_

Olivia looked at the date of the message and noticed that it was sent yesterday. Olivia called Casey and agreed to have lunch with her at noon. She read rest of her email, including Lisa Crowe's address, then logged off. She stood up from her desk and put her coat on. "Well, Ella and I have places to go and people to see."

Olivia got Ella from Fin and strapped her in the car seat. She threw her purse and the diaper bag over her shoulder and put Ella's hat back on her head and the blanket over the seat. "We'll see you all a little later."

Olivia headed to Lisa Crowe's office. She decided to leave Ella's car seat in the backseat of Elliot's car, so she just carried Ella, bundled up in her blanket. She signed in and sat in the waiting room until her name was called.

"Olivia Benson,"

Olivia looked up and smiled. "That's me."

"Come on back."

Olivia followed the woman to her office. "Have a seat."

Olivia examined the short, slightly overweight woman. Her hair was short, just below her ears. She sat in her desk chair and sighed. "Okay." She opened up a manilla folder and looked up at Olivia. "How are you today?"

"Can't complain." Olivia said.

"Good, well. Here's the rest of the paperwork you need to sign," Lisa slid over a few forms. "And her birth certificate, which you need to fill out, and her birth and shot records."

Olivia felt overwhelmed by everything being thrown at her, but signed the papers she needed to. "Is that it?"

Lisa smiled. "That's it. Here's the number of a few pediatricians, pick one you like, make Ella an appointment, get her checked out."

Olivia stood up and shook Lisa's hand. "Thank you, I'll give you a call if I need anything else."

"Sounds great." Lisa said, escorting her out. "Bye, ladies."

"Bye," Olivia smiled and walked out.

She strapped Ella in the carseat and looked at her watch. It was only eleven, so Olivia figured she'd go visit Ella's great-aunt, Heather Whitman, before lunch.

Olivia pulled up to a house in Queens with butterflies in her stomach. She got Ella out and walked up to the front door. She rang the doorbell and waited. A tall, thin blonde opened the door. "May I help you?"

"Are you Heather Whitman?" Olivia asked.

"Yes, I am." Heather said. "And you are?"

"Detective Olivia Benson, may I come in?" Olivia said, flashing her badge.

Heather gestured for Olivia to sit down on the couch, "Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, thank you." Olivia said. "Have you heard anything about who I am?"

Heather nodded. "You have custody of Crista's baby."

Olivia nodded, "Yeah. Ella."

Heather smiled. "Ella. Crista's middle name. It was also my mother's name."

"That's nice to know." Olivia said. "Heather, I was told you were in charge of the funerals."

"Yeah, Cris and Benny's funeral is tomorrow. I figured to just do them both at once, have all of the family together." Heather said.

"Are their parents coming?" Olivia asked.

"I haven't talked to my bitch of a sister in years. I heard that she left Cris and Ben, though. Moved states without them. I have no respect for her, whatsoever. I would've taken those beautiful children in a heartbeat, she didn't have to leave them like that. They always had a home here with me." Heather said, starting to tear up.

"Is it okay if Ella and I go to the funeral?" Olivia asked.

Heather smiled. "Everyone would love to meet Ella."

Olivia smiled. "Then it's settled. We'll be there."

"Can I hold her?" Heather asked.

"Of course," Olivia said, standing up and handing Ella to Heather.

"She looks just like Crista." Heather said in awe.

"She sure does." Olivia said.

They talked until Olivia had to leave.

Heather walked them to their car, "Olivia. I don't know why Crista chose you to take care of Ella, but I'm damn sure glad she did."

Olivia smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow, Heather."

_**Author's note: This chapter was painfully long for me. It was very... Olivia being a mom. LOL. I liked it though. I'm gonna make the next chapter a lot more fun than this one. This one was a little boring for me, but HEY! I got through it! (:**_

_**Personal question: Do any of y'all watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey? I do! I love it, and I can't wait for the premiere tonight! (: **_

_**The top three on American Idol. I CAN'T EVEN. Isn't it amazing! My favorites since the beginning made it to the top. I'm extremely excited. The only hard thing is gonna be voting. It's gonna be really hard to pick! **_

_**I hope y'all liked this chapter. Let me know what I can add to the next chapter. I'd really appreciate your help! **_

_**NEXT UP... CASEEEEY! (:**_

_**(Come on, did y'all really think I could write a fic and NOT put Casey in there? She's my BOO.)**_

_**Love and light,**_

_**Briana.**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**I AM BAAACK FINALLY! Ugh, I swear, it's like the first chapter of this story wrote itself, but now it's becoming so hard to think of things to write! I'm disappointed, I guess, because like I said, a baby was in no way, shape, or form planned for this story, but it happened.. Ella's here and I can't rewrite it. I'm trying to look at it in a positive way, like Ella will just bring so many more adventures and obstacles for Olivia. More things to write about! Anyway, enjoy this chapter that includes my baby CASEY NOVAK! Love her.**_

Olivia walked into the diner, where she was meeting Casey, with Ella's car seat dangling from her arm. She scanned the room, trying to spot her friend. Her eye caught the redhead sitting in a booth in the back with her nose buried in her iPhone.

She sighed shakily, worried about what Casey would have to say about Ella. She knew she shouldn't care, she knew that all she should care about was her daughter, but there was still that small sliver of fear inside of her. It wouldn't be the first time in her life that she was afraid of judgment.

She was always afraid to be judged because of her conception and her Mother, but that was way bigger than what she was feeling now.

She loved Ella, that's what mattered.

"Hi, sorry I'm so late." Olivia said, approaching the booth.

Casey quizzically stared at the baby carrier. "Uh.. I haven't been here that long anyway."

Olivia smiled and slid the car seat in the booth and sat beside it, locking Ella between the wall and herself.

"It's cold today." Olivia said, trying to make small talk.

"Are you really not gonna explain the baby?" Casey asked with a small chuckle.

Olivia smiled, unbuckling the baby from the seat and cradling her in her arms. "This is Ella, my daughter."

"Your what?" Casey shrieked. "When the hell were you pregnant, and why didn't you tell me? Oh, God, is Elliot the father?"

Olivia laughed, "What? No! I adopted her."

"You finally got approved? That's great!"

"Sort of.." Olivia said, running the tip of her finger along Ella's forehead.

"Oh.. another parent left you their kid." Casey said, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Bingo." Olivia said.

"So, what this time? Another junkie? Whore?" Casey asked.

"No, she was a good kid actually." Olivia said.

"Was?"

"Yeah, she killed herself yesterday." Olivia explained.

"Oh, man. That's rough." Casey said, rubbing her thumb against her coffee mug. "Were you close?"

"No, I mean, I barely knew her."

"Yet she left her baby with you.."

"She was sixteen, parents abandoned her.. Elliot said I probably made her feel safe and she wished that I was her Mother and figured she'd at least give Ella the opportunity to have a good mom."

"Elliot said all that?" Casey asked.

"Yeah."

"Has he been helping out a lot?"

"He's been a huge help." Olivia said, sticking her finger inside of the pink soothie pacifier that was now tucked inside Ella's mouth.

"I'd pay money to see Olivia Benson change a diaper." Casey said with a smirk.

Olivia chuckled, "It's a lot easier than I thought it'd be."

"How's motherhood treating you?" Casey asked, taking another sip of her coffee.

"Uh, well, I actually haven't even been a Mother for a full twenty-four hours." Olivia admitted. "But so far, it's been okay. She hasn't thrown anything at me that I can't handle."

"Let's see if you'll be saying that later," Casey said.

Olivia smiled down at the newborn in her arms. "Hopefully, she'll take it easy on me."

"She's a girl. Don't hold your breath."

Olivia chuckled.

After the waitress had come back to order their food and Olivia's drink, they had gotten around to talking about things other than Ella.

"Do you plan on staying in Pennsylvania?" Olivia asked, laying Ella back down in the carrier.

"I don't know. I mean, it's a great place to live, but I just miss New York. The excitement, the scenery, the company... it's not my forever home." Casey said.

"I'd like to move away from here eventually." Olivia said, shocking both herself and the woman sitting in front of her.

"You move out of Manhattan? That's something I never thought I'd see." Casey teased.

"I mean, just with Ella and everything, I'd really like to get out of the city. Give her a house with a yard, and a swing, and maybe even a dog... just, a real childhood, y'know? A childhood she won't look back and hate me for." Olivia said, swallowing down the lump that began to form in her throat.

It was true, she did want to give her daughter the best life she could possibly provide, something far different than what she had.

"You're gonna be a great Mom, Liv, and you know it. You've had a kid for all but a day and you already love her more than life, I can tell." Casey reassured.

Olivia shrugged. "I never knew it could be this easy to love someone."

"So, does Miss Ella have herself a Daddy?" Casey asked, waggling her eyebrows and tapping the toe of her boot against Olivia's.

Olivia smiled at Casey's bold question, "No. She doesn't."

"Maybe a certain guy named Elliot Stabler? I heard that Kathy kicked him out and that you two have been spending a lot of time together."

"Who the hell did you hear that from?" Olivia asked with a small chuckle.

"Oh, let's just say a little birdie told me." Casey smirked.

"A little birdie named Odafin Tutuola, maybe?" Olivia returned the smirk.

Casey opened her mouth and shut it again, unsure of what to say. It was true, Fin had filled her in on the new Benson-Stabler bonding time, but she didn't want to snitch him out to Olivia.

"Fin told me that you two have been talking a lot lately." Olivia said. "How's that going?"

Casey sighed contentedly. "It's.. going."

"Going good?"

"Going great."

"I'm assuming you and Jerry are over?" Olivia asked.

"You've assumed correctly." Casey replied. "He's an ass."

Olivia chuckled. "I just can't even believe you stayed with him as long as you did."

"Two years too long." Casey said, leaning back and folding her arms across her chest.

The waitress returned, setting their orders in front of them. Olivia was starving, she didn't know if the same could be said about Casey.

She immediately grabbed a french fry from beside her burger and revelled in the salty goodness.

"So, what about you? Just because you said Ella doesn't have a Daddy doesn't mean your single." Casey said.

Olivia smiled, "He's great."

"You gonna tell me his name?" Casey smirked.

"I don't know if I'm ready for that just yet." Olivia said, picking up her burger and taking a large bite out of the side.

Ella began to cry loudly, causing Olivia to rock her car seat in an attempt to soothe her.

"Shhh, okay.." Olivia gave in and lifted her out of the seat. "You're okay. You're fine."

Casey watched on as her friend tried to comfort the newborn.

"I know you're not hungry.. you're not wet.. what's the matter, sweet pea?" Olivia kissed her forehead.

Ella screamed louder, tears dripping down the sides of her head.

Olivia looked up and could see Casey, along with several other people in the restaurant staring at her. She felt extremely overwhelmed and uncomfortable.

Her face flushed and all she wanted to do was leave.

Olivia lifted her onto her shoulder and began patting her back.

"Do you need me to do anything?" Casey asked, sensing her friend's embarrassment.

"Um, can you hold her while I fix her bottle?" Olivia asked.

"Uhh..." Casey didn't know what to say. She'd never held a baby before. She could see the desperation in Olivia's eyes. "Sure."

Olivia stood up and carried Ella to Casey before grabbing the diaper bag. She pulled out a bottle, the can of formula and a bottle of water.

Casey watched as she mixed the contents and screwed the nipple back on before shaking it up.

Olivia set the bottle on the table and took Ella from Casey. She sat back in her seat and cradled Ella in her arms, placing the bottle in her mouth.

She smiled as Ella hungrily sucked down the milk.

"Slow down there, sweetie. You'll make yourself sick." Olivia chastised, rubbing the back of her knuckle against the baby's cheek.

Casey laughed and covered her mouth. "Oh. My. God. This is too weird."

Olivia chuckled. "What?"

"You in Mommy Mode.. it's weird." Casey said. "It's different."

"Good different?" Olivia asked.

"Good different. I like seeing you happy." Casey said, smiling as Olivia smiled.

"I like being happy." Olivia said.

"You're really not gonna tell me about your boyfriend are you?" Casey pushed.

Olivia chuckled, "No, so drop it.. and he's not my boyfriend."

"Man friend?"

"He's.." Olivia sighed. "I don't know what to call him. He's a friend."

"Do you consider yourself single?" Casey asked, taking a bite of her sandwich.

"I.." Olivia puffed out a breath of air and rolled her eyes. "I don't know."

"That's a no. You're taken." Casey said with a slightly full mouth. She swallowed her food. "Your 'friend' is your 'boyfriend', so spill. Who is he?"

"Case.. I'm not ready to go there yet." Olivia said, wiping the milk that escaped Ella's mouth. "We haven't even been together that long."

"Has he met Ella?"

"I've only had her for a day, Casey." Olivia reminded with a soft chuckle. She didn't give a solid answer, so technically she wasn't lying..

"Does he know about her?" Casey asked.

"Yeah, he knows."

"And he's okay with it?"

"Yeah." Olivia said. "I'm not forcing him to be her Dad or anything. He knows he doesn't have to be involved if he doesn't want to."

"Is he cute?" Casey asked with a smirk.

Olivia smiled. "He's very cute."

Casey noticed Olivia's big smile. "When's the wedding?"

Olivia chuckled, "Casey!"

"I'm assuming I'm your maid of honor?"

"I'm not getting married!" Olivia laughed.

"Fine." Casey said with a small chuckle.

"Are you gonna join a firm when you move back?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"I think-" Olivia was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone.

She awkwardly held the bottle with her chin as she reached into her pocket to grab her phone.

"Olivia Benson," she answered.

"Hey.. We've hit a bump in the road.."

It was Elliot. She moved the phone between her shoulder and ear, holding the bottle once more with her hand.

"Why, what's going on?"

"Melinda's not releasing the bodies.. something came up."

"And what would that something be?"

"Crista and Benjamin Swank don't have the same DNA. There's no way they could be related."

"I.. what does that have to do with releasing the bodies?"

"Cragen thinks there's more into this case."

"More how?"

"I can't really go into it.."

"Then what was the point of you calling me?"

"It's a lot, Liv.. I'll explain it later."

"Okay. Okay, fine."

"By the way, Cragen told me to tell you that your leave was bumped up to two weeks."

"El, that's too long."

"Two weeks, Detective."

"I.." she looked down at Ella and sighed. "Okay. Whatever."

"I'll discuss everything later. You dropping back by the precinct today?"

"Maybe, I don't know. I wasn't exactly planning to. Let me call you when I leave, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Call me when you leave."

Olivia hung up the phone. "Sorry 'bout that, it was Elliot."

"Oh, you mean your husband-to-be?" Casey said with a smirk.

"Casey, if you don't stop joking about that.."

Casey chuckled. "Okay, fine. I'll stop."

"I don't even want to get married."

"Ever?"

Olivia shrugged. "I mean, I don't want to say I'll never get married because who knows.. maybe one day I might. But for right now, it is not on my list of things to do. I need to focus on Ella, and being a decent mother before I even think about a man."

"Yet, you're seeing someone.."

"He's not my top priority. It's the baby, the job, the guy." Olivia said.

"She is pretty cute.." Casey smiled. "Way cuter than any guy I've ever seen."

Olivia chuckled, "Yeah, and she doesn't complain like men do."

"Maybe I should get a baby instead of a man.." Casey teased.

Olivia laughed. "There's a thought!"

"She really is a cutie..." Casey smiled, watching as Olivia lifted the newborn onto her shoulder and began patting her back.

"She is." Olivia beamed.

"Has Elliot met her?"

"Yeah.."

"Has he fallen in love with her?" Casey asked.

"Of course." Olivia chuckled. "Who can see this face and not love her?"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• •

Olivia sat on her couch cradling her sleeping daughter, with her feet in Elliot's lap as he massaged them.

She smiled at Elliot and then at Ella.

"I could get used to this.." she said softly.

Elliot looked up at her. "What was that?" He asked, not catching her statement.

"A little more to the right." She said, not repeating herself because she didn't want Elliot to know how truly in love she was with her life.

_**I'm so happy that I've finally updated! I always say that I'm gonna update more frequently, but y'all know that never happens... next chapter will be one big hot mess. Things within Crista's death will be revealed, Benjamin's killer will be one step closer to catching, and Olivia has a very intense confrontation with Crista's parents! Hopefully it's exciting! Review! Love y'all! **_

_**Until next time..**_

_**- Bri**_


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